When You’re The Only Person Your Age at A Party

Remember the days where you were pretty much given no choice but to attend the parties your parents were invited to because you were too young to be left alone in the house or that saying “no” had absolutely no effect because you say no to everything your parents say anyway? In reality, we were invited to parties to witness parents get drunk, talk loudly and make innuendos out of everything. The only thing that saves you from jumping off a cliff is the food and drinks, even if it’s just downing pints of water and chomping on salted chips. Anything but to expose my eyes and ears to such a cringe fest.

You also don’t want to socialize with all the tiny ones, aka people ‘who are like, 12’ because they are replaying all the crap songs on youtube and writing comments on facebook. What the hell happened to running around in the park, playing cards and connecting the damn dots?! We were cooler kids back then. By back then I mean the nineties. You then get your parents’ friends who ask about your job, school…that’s about it really. A brief five-minute rundown of what is happening in my life and then there isn’t anything left to talk about. Please don’t ask go into awkward territory and ask if I am in a relationship, I don’t even know you.

The only thing that keeps me sane throughout the night is my phone. I can text people I don’t even really talk to on a regular basis because I am that bored and pretend to be interested in knowing their latest updates in life, perhaps pry into their love life whether it exists or not. I won’t even think twice to text all my closer friends and have the usual “hi, sup? Nothing much, you?” type of conversation where it pretty much dies after the brief exchange of words, then think of the most random topic just to keep the conversation going. For all I know I could be interrupting their social gathering with their zillions of friends while I am happily and thankfully stuck with parents and kids.

The night finally ends at 3am where the kids are on the verge of dropping dead of tiredness yet at the same time full of energy because it was so cool to stay up hours after bedtime. On the other side of the spectrum you have drunken parents who still don’t want the night to be over because the next day it’s back to being a parent again and savoring each second of being able to let loose. As for me, I had front row seats to witnessing the transition of sober to tipsy to just plain gone. It’s like I stepped into a high-school reunion minus the facebook pictures posted the next day. The one good thing about the party is the music because their generation had better quality songs and remain as classic tunes to-date compared to a lot of the stuff we hear on the radio – fact.

What Are Your Hobbies/Interests?

When somebody asks me this question, all information stored in my brain seems to flush away as they stare at the blank expression on my face and utter the enthusiastic sound effect of “uhh….” Talk about being put on the spot, there are obviously so many to choose from, I can’t decide what to tell you first. Internet, music, and food – because is there anything in life that is more important at a young age without getting into ‘real-people’ challenges such as jobs, housing, investments and everything else your parents constantly remind you about? So forgive me when someone much older than me, and by much older than me I mean someone at least twice my age, asks me what I like and I cant be bothered to think of a proper answer that is longer than a couple of words. This also applies to relatives and other random aunts and uncles I didn’t know existed until a family reunion.

I probably will be less inclined to give you an answer when I feel that you are just prodding into my extremely uninteresting life because even if and when I do tell you what I think my interests/hobbies are, you will either go “oh right” and nod exaggeratingly or ask endless questions that will make me feel like I am being interviewed. Perhaps it’s partially to do with the fact that I don’t like talking about myself and that I prefer to be left alone on certain occasions such as family reunions where it can either be really fun or just super awkward, usually the latter drawing from personal experiences.

I also feel like I am an incredibly boring in comparison to some people. Okay, a lot of people. They list all their achievements in life and I’m thinking “man, I’m starving, I wonder whats for dinner tonight” or if being realistic “oh crud, my life is worthless in comparison to theirs. I have accomplished nothing as big as they have. Just smile and laugh along with everybody else and look like you are somewhat engaged in what they have to talk about”. Hard not to compare yourself with everyone else but when they say that they climbed a mountain or have some bizarre hobby when I said that I enjoy watching tv shows on my computer, I feel that I may have to re-think a lot of things and then go watch tv shows on my computer to feel less bad about myself.

Sometimes we don’t realize our own achievements and while we feel like we have accomplished next to nothing, we actually have. It just feels like everybody else has generic interests and achievements so there is no need to state what they are. Graduating from university, playing a certain instrument, travel, sports, tv/movies and so on. We don’t want to get into too much detail because you just know you will be asked questions you have already previously answered to about ten different people and have to re-tell stories and experiences when all you want to do is be on the internet, listening to music and chomping on food.

And Then There Are The Relatives…

I think we can all agree that their purpose in life is to embarrass you in front of as many people as they can. In fact, they really only need to embarrass you in front of two people to make your face go red and cringe a little/ a lot inside, your parents. Seriously, what is with all the questions about my personal life? I get that you may not have seen me in a few years but wow, couldn’t even have tried to ease your way into the prying? I don’t even tell my parents a lot of things, even though I feel that I should now that I think about it. But really its because nothing exciting or new has happened in the past few months.

Personally, the most cringe-worthy topic of all time is relationships. Again, I don’t even talk to my parents about relationships and find don’t really talk about relationships with my friends unless they ask or it just somehow comes up in our conversations. So how am I supposed to tell some distant relative about my relationship status if I don’t even feel comfortable talking about it with people closest to me? Awkward. “Do you have a boyfriend?” Nope. “Why?” What do you mean why?!?! Why don’t I hand out a questionnaire or interrogate all the guys that are in my life, in which I can really only think of one who I am really close with. How about I just serve a generous serving of truth on a plate and say “because…I like girls”.

But why would I want to make an awkward I-want-to-shoot-myself situation any more awkward? I am out to my mom and my dad found out accidentally because of one particular incident in which I may or may not have come home at 7am after spending a night out with a girl and my mom gave in and ‘had to tell him the truth’. So anyway I got asked the relationship question a couple of days ago and I could feel the extremely awkward tension between my mom and I because although she ‘accepts me’ she’s forever convinced it is just a phase. It will be a life-time phase if anything. She used to joke about all the boy stuff and now she just goes silent and has the “oh yeah….my daughter doesn’t go for guys” expression on her face. Not really sure how to describe that look, but its one of almost disappointment.

Then there comes the job shenanigans Why do you want to know how much I earn? What’s wrong with keeping it short with the typical what do you do and where do you work? It’s a given that we all compare ourselves to others and mothers compare their children with other children. And hell, I’m earning a decent salary so if you’re going to ask me, I will answer you directly. I don’t care if you tell all your friends, kids or whoever about what I do, where I work or how much I earn because kids absolutely adore parents when you compare them with others.

I don’t hate or despise my relatives or have some sort of resentment towards them. I will probably end up the same when I am older and try to get as much gossip I can. Until then, when a family reunion is planned or an aunt I haven’t seen since in such a long time because I was only seven when I last saw them decides to visit, I can already mentally prepare and list all the questions the will be asking. It is nice that they do actually want to have updates on your life though, even though it could be for the sake of conversation, but try all you want, you will not get any detailed