When You’re The Only Person Your Age at A Party

Remember the days where you were pretty much given no choice but to attend the parties your parents were invited to because you were too young to be left alone in the house or that saying “no” had absolutely no effect because you say no to everything your parents say anyway? In reality, we were invited to parties to witness parents get drunk, talk loudly and make innuendos out of everything. The only thing that saves you from jumping off a cliff is the food and drinks, even if it’s just downing pints of water and chomping on salted chips. Anything but to expose my eyes and ears to such a cringe fest.

You also don’t want to socialize with all the tiny ones, aka people ‘who are like, 12’ because they are replaying all the crap songs on youtube and writing comments on facebook. What the hell happened to running around in the park, playing cards and connecting the damn dots?! We were cooler kids back then. By back then I mean the nineties. You then get your parents’ friends who ask about your job, school…that’s about it really. A brief five-minute rundown of what is happening in my life and then there isn’t anything left to talk about. Please don’t ask go into awkward territory and ask if I am in a relationship, I don’t even know you.

The only thing that keeps me sane throughout the night is my phone. I can text people I don’t even really talk to on a regular basis because I am that bored and pretend to be interested in knowing their latest updates in life, perhaps pry into their love life whether it exists or not. I won’t even think twice to text all my closer friends and have the usual “hi, sup? Nothing much, you?” type of conversation where it pretty much dies after the brief exchange of words, then think of the most random topic just to keep the conversation going. For all I know I could be interrupting their social gathering with their zillions of friends while I am happily and thankfully stuck with parents and kids.

The night finally ends at 3am where the kids are on the verge of dropping dead of tiredness yet at the same time full of energy because it was so cool to stay up hours after bedtime. On the other side of the spectrum you have drunken parents who still don’t want the night to be over because the next day it’s back to being a parent again and savoring each second of being able to let loose. As for me, I had front row seats to witnessing the transition of sober to tipsy to just plain gone. It’s like I stepped into a high-school reunion minus the facebook pictures posted the next day. The one good thing about the party is the music because their generation had better quality songs and remain as classic tunes to-date compared to a lot of the stuff we hear on the radio – fact.

Things Your Parents Won’t Stop Nagging You About

Nobody really wants to let their parents down. As much as we complain, bitch and moan about how unfair their reasoning is no matter how big or small the situation you happen to be in, we are almost programmed to just deal with it because, lets face it, we don’t really have a choice.  They’ve raised us since we entered the world, put a shelter over our heads, fed well and paid for our education. Does this argument sound familiar? Even if we do succeed in one aspect of life, they will move onto the next thing and then you realize that even though sometimes they are just reminding (nagging) you because it’s for your own good, it never ever in my entire existence did it once feel like a ‘reminder’.

Grades – Yes mom and dad, I understand you work hard to pay much for my education and in return you want to see outstanding results. I’m not trying to fail on purpose, but I don’t know how you expect us to be good at every subject. To those who are, damn you. Parents also never understand the concept of a crap teacher. We’ve all experienced a teacher who had no idea how to teach effectively. There is only so much you can blame your own child for getting a low grade but when the entire class is getting C and/or below, something is definitely going wrong there. Then you have the whole “I am not comparing you with anyone, but…” But you are comparing me with someone right? Perhaps you can just adopt them for god sake. Thanks for making me feel like an A+. Don’t worry, this will only happen for over ten years of your life.

Job – Now that you have graduated from a reputable school and earned enough qualifications to supposedly land a good job, they may expect a good salary and good job title right from the start. I know people who have Masters, PhD’s and they still cant land a decent job, or a job at all. I know you just want me to earn money and get some experience and all that jazz, but I can only do so much before it’s out of our hands. You never know if our applications even reaches the right person and plus, even if it does, there are no guarantees you will hear from them ever again. Even if you do land a job they then talk about how you have to impress your boss and how you have to do this, that and the other to maintain your job. Well of course I am not going to act like some asshole in the office and I already know I have to set a good example, so the constant repetition of the same conversation every now and then is just annoying and pointless.

Going Out – Who? When? What? Where? Why? How? I bet the five W’s were invited by a parent.  Honestly, the interrogation I have to go through sometimes. Just when you are all excited about weekend plans and the occasional overnight plans your parents jump to the worst case scenario in which most of the time, you will end up dead. Lovely. I didn’t realize camping, birthday parties and barbeques were such lethal and adrenaline-filled activities. The reason I want to go out is to escape your over-exaggeration of events and just escape for a while.

“When I Was Your Age” – Exactly. The keyword in that sentence is “was”.  I know that in the end, mom’s will always be right about everything, it’s scary how that happens, but times have changed and we are now in a different generation. It’s nice to know that you have fond memories of your childhood, really, but not in the context of when you are trying to explain a certain situation in which it turns out to be a sugar-coated life lesson or an indirect way of saying something. I also have to make my own mistakes, how else will I learn? There will be times where I just need to experience and find things out on my own terms.

“Have you done this/that” – Sometimes I am surprised as to how much my parents remember things about me and how many times they can ask that question during the course of the day. Are they not occupied by their own stresses and strains? The question pops out of nowhere on occasions or in situations where it’s like they are purposely trying to get you pissed off because they’re having a bad day and decide to take it out on you. They then add fuel to the growing fire inside with “so you haven’t done this yet. When are you going to do it? I don’t bloody know when! It would be a great start if you would stop nagging me about the small stuff. Perhaps I’d be more in the mood to it then instead of getting mad when I give you a constant monotonous “no” to all your questions

And Then There Are The Relatives…

I think we can all agree that their purpose in life is to embarrass you in front of as many people as they can. In fact, they really only need to embarrass you in front of two people to make your face go red and cringe a little/ a lot inside, your parents. Seriously, what is with all the questions about my personal life? I get that you may not have seen me in a few years but wow, couldn’t even have tried to ease your way into the prying? I don’t even tell my parents a lot of things, even though I feel that I should now that I think about it. But really its because nothing exciting or new has happened in the past few months.

Personally, the most cringe-worthy topic of all time is relationships. Again, I don’t even talk to my parents about relationships and find don’t really talk about relationships with my friends unless they ask or it just somehow comes up in our conversations. So how am I supposed to tell some distant relative about my relationship status if I don’t even feel comfortable talking about it with people closest to me? Awkward. “Do you have a boyfriend?” Nope. “Why?” What do you mean why?!?! Why don’t I hand out a questionnaire or interrogate all the guys that are in my life, in which I can really only think of one who I am really close with. How about I just serve a generous serving of truth on a plate and say “because…I like girls”.

But why would I want to make an awkward I-want-to-shoot-myself situation any more awkward? I am out to my mom and my dad found out accidentally because of one particular incident in which I may or may not have come home at 7am after spending a night out with a girl and my mom gave in and ‘had to tell him the truth’. So anyway I got asked the relationship question a couple of days ago and I could feel the extremely awkward tension between my mom and I because although she ‘accepts me’ she’s forever convinced it is just a phase. It will be a life-time phase if anything. She used to joke about all the boy stuff and now she just goes silent and has the “oh yeah….my daughter doesn’t go for guys” expression on her face. Not really sure how to describe that look, but its one of almost disappointment.

Then there comes the job shenanigans Why do you want to know how much I earn? What’s wrong with keeping it short with the typical what do you do and where do you work? It’s a given that we all compare ourselves to others and mothers compare their children with other children. And hell, I’m earning a decent salary so if you’re going to ask me, I will answer you directly. I don’t care if you tell all your friends, kids or whoever about what I do, where I work or how much I earn because kids absolutely adore parents when you compare them with others.

I don’t hate or despise my relatives or have some sort of resentment towards them. I will probably end up the same when I am older and try to get as much gossip I can. Until then, when a family reunion is planned or an aunt I haven’t seen since in such a long time because I was only seven when I last saw them decides to visit, I can already mentally prepare and list all the questions the will be asking. It is nice that they do actually want to have updates on your life though, even though it could be for the sake of conversation, but try all you want, you will not get any detailed