One of the most infuriating things in life is not knowing where you stand with someone. Whether it’s someone you like, friend or even family. As far as they are concerned they don’t really see where you’re coming from or that they may be just as confused as you are, adding unnecessary stress and a growing frustration towards that person. You also don’t want to bring it up because you always feel that you bring the issue up first or that it is way easier to just bitch about it to friends and never really sit down and talk it out, a talent in which we all seem to have and be relatively good at.
The current trend is the topic of relationships. Also known as the ‘more than friends less than a relationship’ phase. The phase even your friends get stressed about when you talk bring up the subject. I know, it will never be easy to talk about feelings because it’s scary and serious and who wants to be scared and serious? A few days or a couple of weeks is fine to just blatantly flirt and just mess around with each other, it is when you finally feel the effect of cupids arrow that you actually like this person and are mad crushing on them. Feelings and emotions are perfect ingredients to throw into the pot of what-the-hell-is-happening?! This is especially the case when you can both sense that you have a crush on each other but don’t admit it and then it becomes a prolonged issue that it actually weighs you down after a while.
The one big fat no-no about the entire thing is when they act like total assholes and just mess you around because one, they may not actually like you the same way back and are having a deep self-flattery session with the fact that someone, or in some cases, many ‘ones’ like them at the same time. I don’t know if acting like an asshole will eventually land them the girl/boy, perhaps for the short-term but if they can’t be straight up with you from the beginning, how the hell are you going to communicate with each other honestly in the future? It could also be because that they just love having the choice, it makes them feel more powerful, though they are just confusing it with egotistical. It’s nice to feel liked but feelings can change without you even having the slightest clue that it would happen. Don’t take people’s feelings for granted because even though it might not occur to them for the longest time that you are dragging them along for a ride without a purpose or intention, but once it does, sayonara asshole. you’ve just lost a really decent person, or haven’t you noticed because you are just doing the same thing person after person?
Two, they like you back but are scared of taking it to the next level because of past experiences and they “suck at telling people how they feel”. This is one hundred percent understandable. At some point in life we will all experience a heartbreak, whether you are they dumper or the dumpee. It makes you open your eyes to what you really want out of life and your priorities at the given time. We really shouldn’t compare our ex’s to our current crush because they are two different people and you ex is your ex for a reason. But for some reason, before that leap of faith and officially announcing your feelings to that person, your mind decides to bring up every bad relationship experience from your past at the same time. Perhaps you/the other person isn’t totally ready for anything serious just yet. Question is, is anyone ever ready? If you ever have one of those moments where you ponder about life and you can imagine yourself with that person doing all the sweet couple-y stuff and prepared to put effort to make it work despite several factors whether it be distance, job, money or family, then you are most likely ready to make it happen. Fingers crossed they like you back too.
Three, they don’t really know you that well yet and might want to start out as friends first and see if feelings develop. Talk about friend-zoned. It isn’t really that much less annoying when the other person is constantly ‘scared’ because we all are! I know someone eventually has to break the (sexual) tension but sheesh, are you always going to be the one waiting? Then you go all CSI with texts and try and analyze the ‘signs’ that they may consciously or unconsciously give you when you hang out. Basically, things can get really complicated really quickly. It’s ridiculously tempting to just board the ship known as “relation” because it is fun and exciting. After several encounters with people, some of which will be bitches and assholes, you realize that you really do need to get to know the person first before anything is made official. It becomes more than just knowing their hobbies, likes and dislikes. That’s just a general tick for each category. Can they make you laugh? Do you every just have a moment where you look at them and go “man, I am really lucky to have you” and just stare into their awesomeness of existence? Little things always go a long way and it’s those that we never forget, even with our past relationships.
The bottom line is that sometimes we just have to swallow our pride or face our fear because you never know what you will be missing if you just sit on the sidelines forever. Sometimes you may not even realize that you are leading someone on and giving each other mixed signals because you haven’t been communicating as well as you should have been. You’ll get a gut feeling if you think the person is leading you on for shits and giggles or if they aren’t sure how to express themselves to you. Apparently people tell you to go with your gut instinct…so go for it!
People will forget what you said. People will forget what you did. But people will never forget how you made them feel – Maya Angelou
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